Bill Weevil Chapter 8: I'm Hackin' It
Well, this happened:
I summoned my not so little brother, Malachai, famed co-creator of Axe Cop to write the final chapter of Bill Weevil. Unfortunately the video I recorded turned out so bad, including the audio, that is was unusable. So we tried to do another record and this time did not use video, but the audio ended up being so bad I again have nothing. So, as bummed as I was to not have it, I decided to just post the story we came up with and give up on the video and audio for now. I am hoping once I figure out how to record skype calls to have Malachai on again. He really likes what we are doing here at RMSC.
So here it is, courtesy of Malachai Nicolle, age 12, the finale of Bill Weevil.
Bill Weevil and the Purple Egg
Bill had been praying for a long time "God, lend me your power and change my life". That was when he heard angels singing outside his house and that egg appeared on his porch.
But after the garbage truck left with the monsters in it, he wondered if he'd lost the answer to his prayer. Then suddenly his dad showed up.
"Don't worry son, we'll get those creatures back. We're ninjas!" said Bill's dad. Suddenly Bill realized he was a ninja too because he inherited it from his parents. Together, they chased the truck down.
It turned out that the truck was a battle truck. It had weapons and fought back against the Weevil family.
But after they karate chopped it a few times it shut down.
Then Bill got a call. It was Ronald, his second cousin twice removed. Ronald had just moved to town. He was a hacker. He worked for a local utopian burger chain for hackers called QuickDonald's. He worked in the back room, sitting in the dark on his laptop doing cyber security.
He did such good work that he was the company's mascot.
Ronald said, "I've been tracking you for a long time, Bill. I sent you that purple egg. I was checking all the garbage trucks in the area and found out the one you were chasing was being hacked into by an evil hacker who goes by the screen name ELBOWPWNS28."
Ronald went on to explain that ELBOWPWNS28 lives in Australia. His real name was Juanbear. Juanbear had hacked into the garbage truck because it was actually an NSA battle garbage truck. His goal was pure evil. Then Ronald said something that made Bill nervous. "You have to go to Australia and stop Juanbear!"
"But I'm too afraid of flying!" Bill said. "I can't go!"
"This is the mission you were always meant to go on," said Ronald.
Ronald went on to tell Bill a story about the science lab beneath QuickDonald's where they developed new kinds of chickens to make the greatest chicken nuggets. They were working on mixing frogs and birds when they created the fird, which is the creature from the purple egg.
It turns out the fird has a USB port on its tongue and it can go into the internet and travel anywhere. They discovered this by accident.
They got the idea to do digital burger delivery, but they needed a delivery man. So they took Bill and tried to wipe all his memories and make him a digital burger delivery man, who would ride firds through cyberspace and deliver hamburgers.
Ronald felt bad that they were wiping his memory, so one day he busted Bill out. That is why he has always dreamed of Australia, because his first mission was to go and destroy this evil hacker.
So Bill accepted the mission. He got on the fird and headed into the internet.
They found a bunch of viruses along the way, then popped out of Juanbear's laptop in Australia. It turned out that Juanbear was a huge, buff viking hermit who lived in the forest.
When they came out of his laptop he jumped up and became a huge Kaiju viking.
Bill needed help. The baby fird suddenly laid an egg. It cracked open and became a meal of bacon and fried eggs. Bill ate the bacon and eggs and suddenly he grew into an enormous Kaiju ferret named Proompa, King of Barbers.
The Viking swung his axe, but it was so heavy that he fell backwards. That is when Proompa got out his scissors and cut off Juanbear's beard. The beard was his life force. Once it was removed, he died.
Bill turned back to normal. Ronald said "Good job. I saw the whole thing from the camera I installed in your hat a long time ago." He was speaking through a chip in Bill's head. "You're hired!"
So Bill was hired as Quick Donald's digital burger delivery man, riding the firds across the internet and helping his cousin with cyber security.
Now that he had been to Australia, he realized where he really wanted to live was Ireland. So he moved there and lived happily ever after.
The moral of the story:
Always take in things that are randomly left on your doorstep.
Thanks to Malachai for his patience, and for writing about three versions of this and working through all the technical malfunctions. We'll get him on video soon.
I'm looking for ideas for our next big story. If you think you and your kids have a good first chapter, send it my way. Thanks for reading!